Someone shit on the floor
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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