Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
