I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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