you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
