yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
