OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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