Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i came on her dog
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
