What a fucking waste of an outfit
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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