i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
