Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
