so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
