TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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