hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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