I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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