i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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