Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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