hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish you could order shots online.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
