Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize