its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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