you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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