He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
