ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
