dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
