wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
