Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
