I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
