I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
