I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
