So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I hate all girls vehemently.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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