Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
