this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
