you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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