I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
