i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think your dad took our porno
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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