you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize