What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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