its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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