i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
