Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize