he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This is the high leading the old right now
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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