had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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