Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
