everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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