my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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