she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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