wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
