I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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