Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
