I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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