question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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