before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
