Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
