i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
