In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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