I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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