Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
