Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
