By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
