stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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