I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize