Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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