i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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