Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
